sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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