Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
