Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
He shit in the fireplace
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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