I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
