Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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