Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
