well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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