when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
