first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I'm really busy with my period
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