he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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