So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
