is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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