exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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