Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
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