But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
