cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
