hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
