So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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