I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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