I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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