So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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