God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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