I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
