girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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