from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
