The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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