Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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