The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
