I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
