he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
