Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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