no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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