What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize