I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
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