Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
