Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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