I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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