He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
