I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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