Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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