Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
