Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
worst night to have a conscience
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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