Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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