Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Randomize
