we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
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