Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
