i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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