what if every blade of grass was a penis?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
