it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
We need a shit load of segways right now
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
