sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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