i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
