It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
